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Cockpit AnnouncementShortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies andGentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York. The weather ahead is good, so we should have an uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and ... OH MY GOD!"Silence followed ... Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"From the back of the plane, a passenger yelled"For the love of God, you should see the back of mine!"This one is compliments of AnonymousA married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It sure is dark in here, isn't. When she got back our coffees had already arrived.She reached out her hand and I put my hand out to take hers,but instead of holding it she placed something in my hand telling me it was my fault and I needed to fix the problem. Pulling my hand back then opening it I was shocked to see sheer-lace 'G' string wet with her juices,putting my hand into my pocket leaving them there and looking across the table at her,she said"Well do you think you can help" "I'm not sure but would love to try " I told her"Well come on we aint got all day so better get a move on "she told me "you fix the bill and catch up" I stuffed $10 on the table and scurried to catch up ,"Well we beter get a taxi its a long walk" raising her hand as one approched we climbed in and headed off to her place.Once there again she told me "Fix the cab fare and hopped out and raced to the front door.I paid the driver and chased her inside.As soon as the door closed she wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me to her kissing.
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